life smells like goat cheeeeze

2006-10-22T15:20:00.000+08:00

My friday was spent with the otah sengets at geylang serai where we feasted on cockles, did henna and haggled with the cute turkish guy about how 2 shirts should cost lesser. eunice and i had a shirt each. funny funny looking shirts that didnt look chinese or malay or indian!!

Saturday was at my aunt's housewarming babysitting 3 brats and a baby. lisa calls from holland and tells me she's having fun!! cool! asks abt the guy also. zzzzzz. how i know sia... i just think that life's too short to stay sobbie and i'd moved on hell long eons ago. all i remember is that he still owes me a birthday prezzie! anyway tiqs has 5 rabbits to give away before she surrenders to SPCA whom may put them to sleep. much as i want to help, mum is animal-phobic! someone please help ok??

Today's boring as per norm. i'm perked up for tomorrow's first yoga lesson with the hot instructor!!!

2006-10-16T23:24:00.000+08:00

I was feeling all good and cool today! School had reopened and I was really perked up abt seeing my otah sengats again, having 7 modules this sem and of course, the Sports and Wellness compulsary module, which I and the otahs will be taking yoga for this sem. (at first we ran for tennis, too bad it was overfilled)

Zzzzzz and not to mention how my day was spoilt by imbeciles so started asking how was "my boyfriend" doing and blaaaaah. I had a nice full bar of patience explaining that we'd broke up over the hols, narrowing to the sob-story ending and the happy bumblebee me now. But soon after the first dozen, I got down to barking like Hitler.......................... (i really dont mean it)

Sorry people, but hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn.

2006-10-11T12:19:00.000+08:00

Hoho. My sadistic birthday past peacefully and surprising went well; it was celebrated over 2 days, 6 and 7 oct. With 6 oct being the stand-in celebration to make myself NOT remember about that person and his birthday dinner. 7 oct I had nooooo mood to celebrate at all; i knew i had to break the news to my parents. lisa flew off, the person was gone. my life felt like...

TOPSY TURVY!

Nevertheless i still went for dinner with my family. zzzzzz as per norm, dinner with the family was boring. i can't understand why the fuck they wanna ask so much about the breakup. HAHA ok fine shoot your questions, i'm all game to answer -.-

Thanks everyone for their pretty prezzies that made me really really happy!!! Shall show you the sneak preview!

Cute cosmetic pouch that reads: A WOMAN'S NOT COMPLETE W/OUT A MAN? OH PUH-LEASE! and a nice stoney necklace from Lisa!!!! I miss her cos she's in Italy staring at the hot boys now!

Beautiful braided tote that Eunice and Arif gave. Love it! I'll use it for school or shopping!

Yummy Belgian chocs that cost a bomb from Irene and JS. there were durian, s'berry, mango, coffee, cuppucino, hazelnut, almond, mint, dark choc! so yummy that i decide to love chocs rather than a man. wahaha!

Blingbling and bugeyed shades from Tiqs! next time hang out at the beach can wear!

Blingbling from Layhoon! hehe so cute and nice!

See... Even Singtel doesnt forget my birthday, they send in some discount coupons and stuff, altho i'd never use them haha. And I still have movie vouchers from Dr Ng! William blanja a beer and slaps me harddddddddddd on the back. No one makes me feel forgotten except that person who says he'll buy my a prezzie but God knows when -.-

Lalala waiting for the prezzie not the guy =) I love prezzies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-10-06T13:36:00.000+08:00

omg sometimes i dont know what the fuck i am thinking. because it was a lie to say that i am fine and moving on. i am not fine and i dont wish to move on. happy birthday to you. im just digging out the past because they seem so beautiful.i still love you like mad.

our cactus

still got a lot. i think i'll cry out a kallang river if i do somemore.

2006-10-04T10:05:00.000+08:00

GOOD MORNING TO THE WORLDDDDDDD!

its my first morning after the breakup. hahaha surprisingly i could sleep well and totally stopped crying after i reached AMK interchange yesterday evening. mmmm i dunnoe what else to say except for that its a mutual decision and ok, no more.

broken hearted women get free poptarts and pretzels!!!

anyway i'd like to thank a lot of people who went through my pain with me for the past 2-3 weeks. that would mean lisa, dr ng, eddie, eunice, irene, tiqs, rabs, arif, lay hoon and whoever not yet thanked. errrrr thanks carol for calling me up to hear my story but i wish that you'd leave it aside and let the magic happen again, not force it out.

hmm the only thing probably running through my head was the fact of empty promises or the so called future which i bet every couple would somehow project for. its really funny to think back now, and see how the both of you have changed! a trip to the zoo? holiday to perth? cruise for 2? us visiting his mother? (and many more)

some tips from me??
-cry all you want and wish that he'd be dead until you reach a moment that you feel alright already.
-take your days one at a time and never think abt what tomorrow brings.

ok thats all. i wish eddy luck.

but of course i wish myself more luck. hahaha!

2006-09-29T01:00:00.000+08:00

I feel so blessed when I'm falling out of love now. I get sweet sms-es from Sushi occasionally, great consolation from everyone and free jacket potatoes with lots of sour cream plus saucy bacon bits from chef Ben daily. no one gives a damn about my poor work performance also.

sniffle. if only he could be that good too. i would rather still be in love.

2006-09-25T00:45:00.000+08:00

its a marvel when you get on with life as if nothing had happened. i'm somewhere near breakdown. get ready to visit me at IMH.

2006-09-23T20:50:00.000+08:00

it was truly a bad day i swear. i need a LISTENING EAR and not an ADVISING MOUTH. the bf is nonexistent. i'm so sick of love songs, so tired of tears.

2006-09-20T22:53:00.000+08:00

so many things i'm actually mad at. i really wish the bf was really a true blue magician and i'd steal his wand and swosh myself up to heaven and never ever see any horrible soul EVER!

my life isn't going well you see. me and she and she and she and him all know why. its like a tumour. if i slice it off i'll lose a part of my body and if i let it be it'll just grow over and kill me. see?? miss chua ximin, you should have NEVER played with fire when you know you'd get burnt.

my hp went dead! that's the first straw. i went to get it serviced and was coldly told that all data wld be erased. exasperated, i started to cry softly and all eyes were on me. not that i'm crazy but my hp is full of memories that bound me to my world and esp the bf who MMSed me all the cute and humourous stuff. ok in the end i agreed and signed on the line reluctantly and flew out of the fucking hell that God cursed at once.

oh well as said i was sick today. woke up with right face swelled till my ears and i looked like i was being torn between the horse-faced monster and an angel. fucking GP who doesn't know what the fuck he's doing and prescribes me steroids for my swollen face. steroids don't work for me, i kindly tell him. i give you stronger one, good good, he says. go to hell ok?! you wasted your mum's money or the government's money or whoever stupid enough that sponsored your medical studies. being the smart nurse that sister zalyah said, i seeked second opinion at the polyclinic for the sake of cutting down expenses. the doctor then advised me on a skin patch test (i'm NOT going too bad) and was stupid enough to prescribe me eyedrops and antihistamines (itch stoppers) and an optional bonjela (ulcer jelly) and was so generous with the MC. ok forget it.

so i went to JP to meet sock and yen ching for pizza and catching up at lvl 3. we ate till we were bloated and whosh, i gave out the first part of my anger! not thru shitting but thru retail therapy. goodness! me and yen ching bought blazers for $12 and i bought a pair of berms and a tee at gior, both $15 and $6 respectively.

ok thats part 1. if you're bored please slap yourself and read on to part 2.............

i always thought that i had 3 worlds which i try (and am still learning) to juggle like little balls. the 3 worlds are: the bf, the CCAs (red cross humanitarian network and NP soleil) and the friends. sometimes i lament for which i'm at a lost to split my time and attention to.

yet...

the bf has 3 worlds too (which i vaguely imagine ALWAYS) they are: ME, the twinny best buddies and the friends.

oh thanks to the bf's best buddies for planning MY bf's birthday party and telling me to be there. i will be there yes, no doubt i'm pissed at MY wrecked plans.

i can't wait to spend my birthday at genki sushi buffet with lisa when i'll whine and complain. and look at planes and cry and ask when wld it be my turn to fly...

i have yet to passed out part 2's anger cos there's no one there for me. how pathetic.

2006-09-20T11:24:00.000+08:00

I have never felt so sick and sad in my whole life like this. I'm wanting to be DEAD, I'm better off being DEAD and I'm waiting to be DEAD.

2006-09-08T19:29:00.000+08:00

Hot stuff spoke to me! Yes the hazel eyed brunette! =D

2006-09-04T00:21:00.000+08:00

psssssssssssssst YM has a bf. congrats! welcome to the club of both joy and misery! hahaha

______________

both my poor grannies are losing grip of their health, and my mother dear says:

LET NATURE TAKE ITS COURSE

sounds ridiculous but it gets me thinking.
i have no idea how arthritis or high blood pressure or osteoperosis, etc feels like. but i know that it's a lifelong responsibility that no one leaves without God's embrace and Ximin's love. i may step into the world with nothing and start every day with nothing, but all that i have with me is a heart of warmth and compassion, and love and hope is in my name.

=) so take my promise. no one leaves without God's embrace and Ximin's love.

_____________

sometimes i feel like tearing myself up. but please remember:

Love is patient, Love is kind,It does not envy, it does not boast,It is not proud, It is not rude,It is not self-seeking,It is not easily angered,It keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil,but rejoices with the truth.
Love always protects, always trusts,always hopes, always perseveres.
Love bears all things, believes all things,hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends.
L o v e N e v e r F a i l s.

Corinthians 13 : 4 - 8

2006-09-01T12:02:00.000+08:00

i feel so tired. i wanna be the missy and not the patient!

2006-08-25T16:03:00.000+08:00

Paris Hilton is actually a hot favourite amongst Japanese women. how ironic.

my life is so screwed like this damn thing! i suck at hmtl and i dont know where the hell my tagboard and links went. i'm so sorry that i cldnt accompany lisa to arab street yesterday.

damn. i'm going to ECP with tiqs and arif. arif is in love. tiqs in love. i am in love.

THIS SPELLS TROUBLE. you get 3 soppy baboons who will pour their sorrows over love later

adios for now. i've got RCHN camp tmr. yay!

2006-08-23T22:54:00.000+08:00

i feel like shit. i dont know why. one more day on earth. iran and north korea abt their fucked up nuclear baabaaboos. blast the world if you don't like the caucasians alright?! spare my agony, you bunch of ungracious morons...

not PMS for mary's sake. i just told eunice that my tea tasted like a screwed old tea bag that has lost its flavour. it indeed has. things still moving fine but i wake up each day with some vaseline in my hands and i got to oil it up to keep stuffs going. i'm TIRED for all god knows.
it feels like i'd left a part of me behind.

it hurted really bad when u said it. it rings in my brain every second. i can't sleep, i can't eat, i can't breathe well.

2006-08-21T14:32:00.000+08:00

Life is so contradicting (mao dun)

When I thought I was the pillar of strength, I broke and cried.
When I thought I could soar and fly, I stumbled and fell.
When I thought I could believe, I lied to myself.

I don't know whats happening also. I don't. I really don't.

2006-08-20T23:01:00.000+08:00

=) lololo

i'm supposed to study my AAP but its damn bored i feel like crying. I DO NOT know ANY SHIT ABT MENSES EXCEPT THAT IT HURTS FOR 6 DAYS. damn.

2006-08-08T22:03:00.001+08:00

I can't tell anyone how much my life sucked. Things ain't looking that bright but I'm not gonna blame anyone.

=) God loves us.

It good news that he's back at home. Haha it was my turn to be sick and down on luck! I was down with a fever and flu. And booohooo it was a bad time for Tika to entrust to me her laptop. It nearly dropped and I scooped down to save it and ended up with a deep gash on my right knee and smaller grazes on my right ankle, left knee and left ankle. I have to say it was a traumatising fall after all, I was in a daze and didn't realised that blood was dripping down my legs as if I was having my menses! so paiseh.

2006-07-31T23:51:00.000+08:00

"where can I buy priority? I don't know how to sort my life."
.
.
.
"its in your peabrain la, stupid!"

I just realised that I've forgotten myself for the past 2 weeks.
my poor boy's back at SGH. I missed 1 lecture and 1 tutorial. Thank God I have great buds who told me that I left myself behind when I took care of Eddy. Oh no. I left myself, my studies, my projects, my responsibilities. Once again I wished I could turn back time to never be loved, because it was all a nightmare that meant gratitude - loving and paying back love.

Tiqs and Kok are gone. It was like whoah, 1 year odd together and a little wind could take it all away. Whats wrong?

Eunice's mum had lost her job.

3 bad things in a day. Thats what we call a Fucked Up Life.

2006-07-27T23:50:00.000+08:00

I feel like shit. My poor Eddy's in the hospital with I don't know what the fuck of a bacterial infection. The most I could do was only to visit him every single day to be by his side to kill boredom and kick the offset of clinical depression. I pray to Christ and Mother for their mercy and blessings to help my beloved, I pray to God to give me strength to get over the day. I spend a few hours with him daily but the rest of the time I'm worrying abt him. At the end of the day, its me whose weak, me who finds myself breaking down for his pain and suffering. It hurts so bad I'm feeling his pain mentally. I'm proud of the fact that he doesn't cry or whine at the pain or numerous medication routines. Anyone who knows him, please put your hands to pray for him for his health and wellness. I'd gladly trade any thing for them.

I love you. With all my heart and bare soul. Please be well soon.

2006-07-12T09:20:00.000+08:00

11 July 2006

135 killed in Mumbai bombings.

I was self-declared BANKRUPT because my phone bills went to $268, wow, first time!

Condolences.

2006-07-07T16:15:00.000+08:00

Gay! alumnite was a little dumb. feel so distanced from everyone becos i'm not in engineering, IT or arts.

feels weird when i'm being questioned abt my course. its like no one thought i wld be in nursing and everyone thinks its a dumping ground for people who fared badly in their o lvls.

close buds are all at RP enjoying their NO EXAMS schedule and end-at-4pm-timetable-daily. lisa's so busy with schoolwork. yea i have mine but I dont even open my books.

whether or not it was a right choice to be in nursing, i'd love to see what happens in attachments that wld make me stand by my choice.

anyway i'm in red cross humanitarian network for the NP chapter. hope i have funnnnnn!

2006-06-30T23:44:00.000+08:00

Damn. Its a disaster when BF meets BF (BESTfriend meets BOYfriend)

they just can't go shopping together

What can I do?!?!?!

_____________________

But on the other hand he's sweet! Brought him along with JS and Irene and Arif and Ben aka Mr Irene. JS and Arif says we look pretty together! ^.^ Wanted to study but ended up going to Kbox and shopping, which he joined after the elective lesson.

You know what?! His face is damn oily and I cld use the oil to fry kangkong anytime! And his hair is damn dry like British grass! Ok so I bought him hair moisturiser and oil-control foam for males. And also the birthday bear and a bookmark of a carousel.

Birthday bears. yay i found mine and his. which is only a day apart XD

Carousel bookmarks! One each...

Ok. My surprise! That dumb BF of mine gave me a set of rolly-polly dummies (bu dao weng) and told me **** * ***** ***** *** **** *** **** * **** ******* ** ****. Haha I won't tell you what he said =P So we ended the day both happy cos we were dumb to shower surprise gifts. Tada.

Alamak.

Oh dear. My pocket was burnt at the end of the day. JS still hasn't returned me the Kbox money! Haha.

Sometime some things just melt you.

2006-06-29T07:20:00.000+08:00

I was so tired and blasted from work. It was a busy night! But when I stepped out and saw his cheezy smile, I jumped for joy in the middle of the road! Who cares if I died or not?! It was like a real surprise and I'd never expected him to find his way into Greenwood Ave.

Oh man. He even bought my apple candy. So we went for supper at Bt Timah.

I really don't know what to do with a nice chap. So the only idea I cld think of was to be nice back! HAHAHA thats what I'm doing NOW.

Tata.

Oh. And I dreamt of Micheal Jackson last night... Must be that Scary Movie 4 la... And I realised he'd been out of the spotlight for too long. Hahahahaha.

2006-06-27T11:10:00.000+08:00

Libra & Libra

When two Libras come together in a love affair, they form one of the most agreeable, romantic and well-balanced relationships around. Harmony and aesthetics are of utmost importance to Libra; two Libras together bring their magically balanced and beautiful touch to everything they do together. Libra is the Sign of Partnership; Libra loves to be in love, and two together spells relationship bliss. If they're just dating, they spend their time at romantic movies and coffee houses; if they're cohabiting, their house looks like an art gallery, full of the finest and loveliest of everything.

Libra wants everyone to love them -- sometimes to a fault. They abhor conflict, and if one arises they're apt to back down just to maintain the peace. It's not that they're insincere or that they don't care, it's that conflict makes them extremely uncomfortable. The Libra-Libra duo understands this about one another and it's rare that either one will push the other to compromise their shared sensibilities. Libra is most balanced while in a relationship, and each of them love having someone to admire and dote upon. They're happiest when they have someone with similar interests with whom to share their experiences.

Libra is ruled by the Planet Venus (Love). Two Libras together share a blissful, romantic relationship full of beauty, sensuality and utter pleasure. It's no wonder the two stay together! They spoil themselves and one another -- sometimes to a fault. Too many rich foods and too much laziness can be bad for their health. Those are pleasures that prove hard to resist; both enjoy reclining and munching on a stem of grapes like the Greek goddess herself!
Libra is an Air Sign. They prize their mental abilities almost above all else; they enjoy intellectualism and appreciate art, films and all sorts of cultural pursuits. Persuasive, courteous and diplomatic, Libras are the fair judges of the world. Two together can use their diplomacy to smooth over almost any potential conflict with honor and decency.

Libra is a Cardinal Sign, a quality that allows them to initiate new projects and motivate others. Two Libras can work very well together toward any project they set their mind to.

What's the best aspect of the Libra-Libra relationship? Their incredible sense of diplomacy, kindness and shared respect for one another. These two can make a lasting love connection due to their deep, mutual understanding of one another's loves and needs. Their commitment is likely to be great and solid.

Geez, I still feel baaaad and queasy. He's doing everything and I feel like I'm treating him like a maid. Surprises, calls, MMSes, etc. Oh God. Please make it right. Please please.

I miss Lisa like siao. And the Alumni Night! Shithole I don't feel like going! It seems so not 4E2 and the only people I love from 4E2 are merely Sock, Shirley, Jojo, Lisa and no more I guess... I feel foreign! Everyone's forgotten abt me except these few ok?!

2006-06-24T23:59:00.000+08:00

I'm gonna have a bf.

Nooooo. I don't know what I want.

Oops I stole this from friendster. Anyway he wants to ask me nicely tomorrow. But I fear...

I'm thinking abt how I should never ever splatter my chili sauce all over on my LJS combo 1 like I always do ever again becos he takes ketchup and tartar only. I'm thinking abt how I should never ever have my favourite coke ever again becos he only likes ice lemon tea. I'm thinking abt how I can never ever have my nachos with extra cheese all to myself ever again. I'm thinking abt how I would dump my good old friends for quality time just for him. I'm thinking abt how I'd have to eat hokkien mee again becos he likes it. I'm thinking how my hp bills gonna explode in the near future. I'm thinking how terrible it is to have him to nag at me to take my medication like yesterday and today. Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. A lot more.

Well my dad likes him.

But I'm selfish and yes I am. I try asking myself and I guess I'm still not ready to share my personal space.

Anyway thanks Eddy for being so nice and accomodating to me when I didn't take hokkien mee, and for trying to go the extra mile to the other Toys r Us branches to get that stupid thing that I liked(although I got it myself in the end), making my day with many MMSes, sending me home every single time and all the little gestures.

God bless and I got 7 plus more hours to THINK.